隔了一天才甘愿坐下来想把那种感觉记录下来果然是一个。错。误。的决定，
因为即使现在脑袋再怎样努力地回想也找不回昨天那种撕心裂肺的恍惚。
其实也没什么，不过就是被人拒绝；虽然说是连续五天，一天至少被拒绝半百次以上的那种。
刚开始还没觉得怎么样，只觉得工作难免会有一定的挑战跟挫折。
只是到最后一天才恍然，一些情绪已经在无意识中一点一点堆积成了山；
尝到泪水后才承认不论怎样都好，我还是不能承受那种被拒绝的失落。
有几失落？不记得了。
真的到最后什么知觉都没有，只记得曾经流过的泪是咸的。
肚子饿的时候，才想起午餐只有三粒咖迪尼亚江鱼仔面包。
连续几天都这样了，怪不得现在很饿。
好想回家。吃。饭。
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Part Time RA-----Zasssss!
Had my very first day of being a RA--Research Assistant. sounds cool, yea?
Few things that may sum up the day:
1. Giant Subang Jaya is going to be closed soon, for renovation purpose, according to what the staff manager had told me. (but I think it looks more to like '炸腊')
2. Customers on Monday is very extremely sangat amat LITTLE, if it goes the same way for the next 4 days, I'll be in very extremely sangat amat BIG prob.
3. People's response towards research is not very promoting. I could only get 5 out of 10 who allowed me to finish a complete sentence; 2 out of the 5 to actually picked up the pen and answered to the questionare.
4. I met many different kinds of people.
5. I gain many different kinds of responds from the people.
6. Last but not the least, I learnt many different kinds of lie to reject one.
eg:
"Sorry, I'm in a hurry." ......................................then you can see them walking around at speed of 1cm/hour.
OR
"Well, actually I've filled up the similar questions before." .................see my first sentence of this post.
tmd. what lame excuses were that.
Anyway, this will sure to be a great experience.
And I have a partner who is quite helpful, don't worry. (am I talking to myself?)
And aha, when the $$ is in the hands, everything will be worth of. muahahahahaha :D
Zassssssssss!! a new word learnt from the partner. He is an interesting guy btw :)
Zassssssssssssssssssss!! sleep well tonight, and prepare for tomorrow !
Zassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!! spirit splashing !
Zasss!
Zasss!
Zasss!
p/s: have you heard before ? :
And I like it very much.
Zasss!
Few things that may sum up the day:
1. Giant Subang Jaya is going to be closed soon, for renovation purpose, according to what the staff manager had told me. (but I think it looks more to like '炸腊')
2. Customers on Monday is very extremely sangat amat LITTLE, if it goes the same way for the next 4 days, I'll be in very extremely sangat amat BIG prob.
3. People's response towards research is not very promoting. I could only get 5 out of 10 who allowed me to finish a complete sentence; 2 out of the 5 to actually picked up the pen and answered to the questionare.
4. I met many different kinds of people.
5. I gain many different kinds of responds from the people.
6. Last but not the least, I learnt many different kinds of lie to reject one.
eg:
"Sorry, I'm in a hurry." ......................................then you can see them walking around at speed of 1cm/hour.
OR
"Well, actually I've filled up the similar questions before." .................see my first sentence of this post.
tmd. what lame excuses were that.
Anyway, this will sure to be a great experience.
And I have a partner who is quite helpful, don't worry. (am I talking to myself?)
And aha, when the $$ is in the hands, everything will be worth of. muahahahahaha :D
Zassssssssss!! a new word learnt from the partner. He is an interesting guy btw :)
Zassssssssssssssssssss!! sleep well tonight, and prepare for tomorrow !
Zassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!! spirit splashing !
Zasss!
Zasss!
Zasss!
p/s: have you heard before ? :
太阳很猛。
单单是用来晒衣服的话，好像太浪费了。
那晒命吧。
I didn't . cuz I just read it from a very me-like blog.单单是用来晒衣服的话，好像太浪费了。
那晒命吧。
And I like it very much.
Zasss!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
多做多得，少做多失
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
新房一角
咖啡麦片米禄饼干，加上几片烤的有点焦的白面包（应该说是黑色的，嗯）
早餐加午餐，间中穿插女人永远不会嫌烦的八卦。
其中好多都离不开最近搬家的种种滴滴
起劲兴奋的时候讲到饼干碎不断从嘴里喷出来，愤怒的时候不断指着杯子指桑骂槐。
But! 人生最厉害就是这个BUT !!
不明了，参不透，不能接受。
这样的日子是该到一段落。
不甘愿又如何？不乐意又怎样？世事就是如此。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
#最美的愿望一定最疯狂，我就是我自己的神在我活的地方－倔强#
虽说要接受，可理智和心理不协调怎么办？
有几次想在面子书、部落格开炮轰炸；想让全世界知道"what's going on"；
想哩哩罗罗吐槽、伸冤，甚至想博同情；
可到最后又通通把它吞回进去。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
我一直都不喜欢暗示性的留言，
更不喜欢那些没有列名的攻击性的部落格 （重点不在于“攻击”，而是“没有列名”!!）；
干！骂人却只是讲XXX，等人来对号是不？！
超鸡厌恶。
如果真的拉响那声炮，那我跟那些一直在干我自己原本就不认同的事情的家伙有啥分别？
我可不想讨厌我自己。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
不管怎样，人非圣贤；埋怨肯定是少不了。
可最终，既然改变不了事实，只有改变心态。
老爸说：东西是死的，人是活的；东西不转，人转。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
老妈的格言并家训：多做多得，少做多失。
看来我的修为必须加倍提高才行。
新房一角咖啡麦片米禄饼干，加上几片烤的有点焦的白面包（应该说是黑色的，嗯）
早餐加午餐，间中穿插女人永远不会嫌烦的八卦。
其中好多都离不开最近搬家的种种滴滴
起劲兴奋的时候讲到饼干碎不断从嘴里喷出来，愤怒的时候不断指着杯子指桑骂槐。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
But! 人生最厉害就是这个BUT !!不明了，参不透，不能接受。
这样的日子是该到一段落。
不甘愿又如何？不乐意又怎样？世事就是如此。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
#最美的愿望一定最疯狂，我就是我自己的神在我活的地方－倔强#虽说要接受，可理智和心理不协调怎么办？
有几次想在面子书、部落格开炮轰炸；想让全世界知道"what's going on"；
想哩哩罗罗吐槽、伸冤，甚至想博同情；
可到最后又通通把它吞回进去。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
我一直都不喜欢暗示性的留言，
更不喜欢那些没有列名的攻击性的部落格 （重点不在于“攻击”，而是“没有列名”!!）；
干！骂人却只是讲XXX，等人来对号是不？！
超鸡厌恶。
如果真的拉响那声炮，那我跟那些一直在干我自己原本就不认同的事情的家伙有啥分别？
我可不想讨厌我自己。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
不管怎样，人非圣贤；埋怨肯定是少不了。
可最终，既然改变不了事实，只有改变心态。
老爸说：东西是死的，人是活的；东西不转，人转。
家训：多做多得，少做多失。
老妈的格言并家训：多做多得，少做多失。
看来我的修为必须加倍提高才行。
袋鼠还好吗?
欸，现在正在澳洲骑袋鼠的那个，
虽然你有你的袋鼠，我有我的番薯；
可我希望你袋鼠的口袋里装有几颗我的番薯。
然后夜里做梦的时候，
你可以骑着袋鼠（最好是一只白色的袋鼠）来到我面前。。
记：袋鼠没被你压扁吧？
现在这个蕃薯岛上正正有个人在想你。
看不到 你眼里的泪滴
却听到 你坚强的呼吸
多少汗水 和多少经历也听不到
你疲备的 喘气
你跨出的脚步愈是艰辛
我们的心就更加靠近
就这样傻傻的 继续前进
剩下的 只能听天由命
却听到 你坚强的呼吸
多少汗水 和多少经历也听不到
你疲备的 喘气
你跨出的脚步愈是艰辛
我们的心就更加靠近
就这样傻傻的 继续前进
剩下的 只能听天由命
虽然你有你的袋鼠，我有我的番薯；
可我希望你袋鼠的口袋里装有几颗我的番薯。
然后夜里做梦的时候，
你可以骑着袋鼠（最好是一只白色的袋鼠）来到我面前。。
记：袋鼠没被你压扁吧？
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Have given all out for the past few weeks. Efforts, patience, time and money $ . All out.
What remains is the empty and motionless fragment of mine.
The body aches. Right from the deepest part, the bone ache-ing.
And other parts are 'nah~nah~' to react to any orders.
Need a way out. I need.
But there are things to be considered. Things that I can't let go of.
Perhaps it'll be a better way to let it be.
The problem comes from me indeed. That I'm not let-it-be in nature.
Mom says: Think for yourself before you think for others.
4th Sis says: Spend more considerations for yourself before anything else.
Perhaps I should. And things get easy with that.
Love it when Giddens spelled : Living is about a whole-life battle.
I'm like a warrior who fights to live.
And I'm, also, like my mummy's girl who eats and sleeps on time and nothing else.
If I could, I wished papa is here for everything.
I wished I am strong. as strong as Popeye.
And sometimes,
I wished I could be a bit stupid, dumb, mindless, unthinking, blur and non-sensible.
Because, that should be enough reasons for not being self-initiated responsible :D
wee~
What remains is the empty and motionless fragment of mine.
The body aches. Right from the deepest part, the bone ache-ing.
And other parts are 'nah~nah~' to react to any orders.
Need a way out. I need.
But there are things to be considered. Things that I can't let go of.
Perhaps it'll be a better way to let it be.
The problem comes from me indeed. That I'm not let-it-be in nature.
Mom says: Think for yourself before you think for others.
4th Sis says: Spend more considerations for yourself before anything else.
Perhaps I should. And things get easy with that.
Love it when Giddens spelled : Living is about a whole-life battle.
I'm like a warrior who fights to live.
And I'm, also, like my mummy's girl who eats and sleeps on time and nothing else.
If I could, I wished papa is here for everything.
I wished I am strong. as strong as Popeye.
And sometimes,
I wished I could be a bit stupid, dumb, mindless, unthinking, blur and non-sensible.
Because, that should be enough reasons for not being self-initiated responsible :D
wee~
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Hm. well...
Tomorrow...
...BTH quiz at 9.
...MKW mid-term-exam at 6.
The day after tmr...
...Bio BB Test.
...CHM report.
SUNWAY taking back the current unit.....tmd, have to move out liao.
But then hor.....
Wooooohoooooo~:D
I'm moving to the new unit tmr !! wahahahahahahahaha ~:)
....Er.....
another CHM report on Monday..
and CHM BB test....
and BIO mastering...
and BIO essay on Thursday..............!!!
.......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA...!!!
sigh
aiya, don't care la.
I'm moving to new unit~yayay~!
gonna do lots of shopping n cleaning~yayay~!
Tomorrow...
...BTH quiz at 9.
...MKW mid-term-exam at 6.
The day after tmr...
...Bio BB Test.
...CHM report.
SUNWAY taking back the current unit.....tmd, have to move out liao.
But then hor.....
Wooooohoooooo~:D
I'm moving to the new unit tmr !! wahahahahahahahaha ~:)
....Er.....
another CHM report on Monday..
and CHM BB test....
and BIO mastering...
and BIO essay on Thursday..............!!!
.......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA...!!!
sigh
aiya, don't care la.
I'm moving to new unit~yayay~!
gonna do lots of shopping n cleaning~yayay~!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
When I get home
When I get home,
I gonna drink as much as I can because the water in Selangor is really heavily polluted.
I will be OFF laptop and desktop because I had enough of them already!
I will be sure spending on Laksa; oh Laksa, I so damn miss u !!
I gonna sit there and wait for my meal when it is time. I'm sick of finding FOOD.
I gonna kacau my dad gao lat gao lat for APPLE JUICE. I miss it very much too!!
Besides all these, I will spend time to:
Sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and
Eat and eat and eat and eat !!!!!!!!
I gonna drink as much as I can because the water in Selangor is really heavily polluted.
I will be OFF laptop and desktop because I had enough of them already!
I will be sure spending on Laksa; oh Laksa, I so damn miss u !!
I gonna sit there and wait for my meal when it is time. I'm sick of finding FOOD.
I gonna kacau my dad gao lat gao lat for APPLE JUICE. I miss it very much too!!
Besides all these, I will spend time to:
Sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and
Eat and eat and eat and eat !!!!!!!!
because that are 2 things I'm most desperate for now TT.TT
Monday, April 11, 2011
倔强－Final Home 05'
当我和世界不一样 那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚
我如果对自己妥协 如果对自己说谎
即使别人原谅 我也不能原谅
最美的愿望 一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神
在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强
握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂
就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强
我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂
就这一次我和我的倔强
对, 爱我的人别紧张 我的固执很善良
我的手越肮脏眼神越是发光
你不在乎我的过往 看到了我的翅膀
你说被火烧过 才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向 更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡
只怕自己投降
我和我最后的倔强
握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂
就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强
我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂
就这一次我和我的倔强
词曲：阿信
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
湿掉的发丝
下雨了。还就偏偏选在七点左右搭着巴士回宿舍的时候下。
淋了点雨。打勾勾白色包鞋都湿了。踩在积水里，心突然痛了一下。
放下书包。想说赶紧洗澡吧，别伤风了。
摸了摸头，奇怪头发都湿透了。
要洗头吗？
全身上下脱精光，站在莲蓬头底下让水浸泡着。
温水，有点烫。
滑过发梢，经过脸颊，然后肩膀，由上而下；
湿了一身赤裸裸的躯壳。
就那么裸着，没有包装，没有掩饰。
一天就那么几个时候，最坦荡地面对自己。
关上水龙头，伸手抓下了毛巾。
一千一亿零一百一十一次机械性地擦了擦脸，突然想到上头还粘着昨晚的泪水跟鼻涕。
耸了耸肩，终究还是把脸埋进毛巾里。
鼻尖好像有粘到一片干掉的片块；
坐下，把吹风筒的插头接上，开启。
梳子吃力刷着错综较差的发丝，拼了命把一根根都拉直。
吹风筒来助阵，把不听话的发丝通通矫直。
被热气烘烤着，脆弱的发毛已经失了昔日的光泽。
不小心把吹风筒对准了脖子背后，
把那里的皮都烤熟了。
汗水渐渐冒了出来。
跟发丝上了层润滑剂，
香香滋味滑过了鼻尖，溜了进去。好香。
突然记得衣服在厕所里浸着，转身就进了厕所。
意思意思刷了两下，过水，拧干，晾起。
几个动作却也烧了不少的能量。
额头冒了几颗汗。
脖子背后也冒了几颗。
穿过刚烘干的发丝，
滴在了肩上。
嘴里却是一直哼着Sarah McLachlan 的 Angel。
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel, fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel, fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear
Friday, April 1, 2011
不止是小时候的英雄
看他老爸把他打到哭。看他吊钢丝掉到七晕八素。
老是就是一副严肃样。小孩子的时候演戏像大人。
长大了以后感觉更犹豫。
很想知道从小习武真的是他要的？
拍戏成名也是他想的？
后来离开到美国留学是为什么？
现在积极复出拍戏又为了什么？
总感觉他好像藏了许多背后的辛酸。
舍不得呐。
舍不得人家批评他咧。
长大了不可爱又怎样？
没有标准身材又怎样？
释小龙就是释小龙，谁也取代不了童年的我那时候迷恋的正气偶像。
有时候在想，为什么那么喜欢释小龙。
不管以前还是现在都喜欢。
可喜欢就是喜欢嘛。
跟我喜欢甄子丹一样，
就是喜欢嘛。
跟我喜欢甄子丹一样，
就是喜欢嘛。
愿*释(本姓陈)小龙我永远的英雄，早日可以做回自己，一切顺利顺心*愿
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