i'll hug it to sleep tonight

1st collection

2nd collection taken down after long search.
there's lot more to go :)

What are words

"what are words if you don't mean it when you say them?"

-He keeps his promise.

*p/s: bad poHyee, the song makes me sad now :(

Appreciate what I have

Asia Dream song - by Jeo Hisaishi

As I wish to dedicate the song to all residents in Japan, may it be victims of the earthquake/ tsunami/ nuclear plant explosion or those who survive.Till the day I am able to contribute my efforts, I wouldn't want to say much as I always believe actions are more in practical than just words or promises.

As always, pictures speak more than just words.
11 March - Massive earthquake hits Japan
14 March - The Vast devastation
16 March - Continuing Crisis
17 March - Hopes fade for finding survivors
18 March - 1 week later

Electricity was cut off after the tragedy.

While seeing the darkness in Japan,
somehow it reminds me of the Earth Hour which has just passed.

it says:

In 3 years, what started as a simple act in one country
has become a global celebration driven by you.

...started as simple act...
...become a global celebration...
...driven by me...
If it is so..

Then, I have to apologize.
I'm sorry that I turn it into a celebration.
A celebration that takes energys, resources, money, materials into account to make an one-hour light off celebration. Its popularity consumes the energy for the advertisements, resources for the people to come into a candle-lights gathering by all ways, money & materials for the promotions (shirts).
I'm sorry that it takes so much.
If the message of energy-saving has not been spreading wide enough or if people are just taking it as a celebration without any practices on daily lives, all efforts go into junk.

When they were using only a torch, we were having celebration.
I'm sorry.

Hey Japan,
Be strong and stand still.
We hope to see your smiles again.

*all photos are taken from THE BIG PICTURES - boston.com

Early Early in the morning.

I begin to adore myself.
How can I come out with things like this?
And I finish it then ?

In the end, I didn't finish it.
Reason being: I can't take raw vege :(

I had a proper meal just now.

CAUTION: the following site is NON-HALAL

Home-made porridge with pork-liver & pork-heart fillets.

Guess who cooked it?
Me?!
If anyone ever tried any food I cooked, the person must be as lucky as my parents.
Want me to cook ar....?! slow slow wait la.

* Millions thanks to Nguyen, for the SOBA, for fish source & canned pork (made in Vietnam) ,
all and all, thank you :)

It rains these days.

Listen, I'm trying to flood this site.
Save yourself.

20th. finally.

First and more most, I'm grateful that my parents bring me down to this world.
The story began since the night when they *....* and 'boob!', there was me >:)
In return of that, they earned a clever+gorgeous+cute+brilliant daughter.

Eva&Chai&YanHui&Carrie&Nguyen got me a DIY Spongy-Nestle Choc Icecream-Cake !

The BAnana-Cakegy bought by all sis. *the sweetness seeps in very deeply.

10years ago, when I 1st stepped into my 2nd decade--
(why 2nd? 1st: 0-9 ; 2nd: 10-19 ; 3rd: 20-29; just now only I came out with this calculation), where was I and what did I do?
Can't remember. But it must be something lame I guess.
So, 10 years after the 2nd decade, here I am. Fresh twenty. what a sad case
The candles on cake had greatly declined to 2. big fat candles
But hey, no hard feelings. 才怪

Cake for grandpa whose B'day(by lunar calender) coincidentally fall on the same day as mine.

Dear 20-year-old me,

You have come this age where people will stop calling you young lady instead of ArGirl.
Being alive can be hard sometimes, but do promise me to survive through.
Go do anything that you like, but no regrets after that.
Perfection of life is not about what you have, but how you see things that you owned.
You're rich that you're loved by so many.
Love you always.

Thank you Stefanie&ChiewTing, for sleeping with me on my 1st 20-year-old night.

P/s:
oh, I need to officially thank STEVE & KAR-MEN & GRACE.
Thanks for the calls (international calls cost a lot), I never ever expect it.
Thank you.

reminder: U're once so happy

Sometimes, it is good have those happy time in mind.
When I'm !%#@^#frus!#@$%#upset TT.TT worried,
at least there's something to light up my second day when I wake up.

.......will be back when I'm done with those paper works.

240分钟

闹钟。
残酷；徘徊在夜晚8、9、10和11之间。
落寞，取代了所有。

青蛙，尚且有生命；
活死尸，
却是苟且回荡在每天的4个小时里。

围墙瞬间倒跨；
像是西瓜坠地。
血红瓜汁撒了一地。
好像；费尽力气保护的真实；
刹那间冲出防线。

无可救药。
甩掉；
趴下，无奈让泪水湿了一桌的纸张。

真的很想把每颗眼泪都晾起来·晒干·

The early surprise

Charlotte Tang !!!

In case some of you may not know who she is, well, she is a damn cool friend of mine.

Currently studying some multimedia related course,
and I dare to say she has great talent & potential in her future career.
She is brilliant in her own way of expressing thoughts and feelings ever since primary days.
And what makes I like her so much is: patience that she has for all friends.

Though I know it's very kolot, I still wanna say: cha, Friends Forever !!

Look, what she brought for my 20th b'day present. (not the pillow la)

What a surprise to open up the envelope and found this piece of thing in it.
With the lyrics of the song too!
How much time have you spent for searching the photos & lyrics and to compose out all this?

OhmyMamAa....I LOVE IT !!
I'm really touched :')

Thank you so much *hugs and kisses

就是一出戏

混混屯屯就这样晃过了20个年头，转眼昨天的小不点今天已成了大个儿。
若说人类平均的岁数有70，那我也不小心用掉了四分之一的人生。

20年那么长的时间，试问我把它花在什么地方了；做过什么；得到什么；又失去什么；
第20个年头，我正在什么路口徘徊；掌心里握着什么；
未来50年的岁月，又试问我会撞上哪个驿站；上演着什么剧情；

这些年我遇上了哪些人；做了什么事；
今年的我与谁肩并肩地走在一起；
未来，又有谁会出现在我的人生里；谁在后台等待出场；

之前的我应该做些什么；完成了多少事情；错失了什么；
现在的我背负了什么；对谁附上了责任；
以后的我会扛上什么；上演什么角色；又会有什么对白；

以前他们告诉我人生像是一场戏，我是乍蒙乍懂。
如今的我却感觉人生注定不是一场独角戏；
当我对自己的人生负责的时候，同时也背负许多债务，都是些长命债。
也注定了剧情起起落落，是酸是甜是苦还是辣，很多时候都分不清楚。
插曲的音乐响起的时候，是该配合什么步伐还是什么表情，又有谁能够说得准。
觉得累的时候，却是可不可以暂停小休片刻，先来个商业广告？
哈。哎。啊。呼。矣。

予：
曾经参与我这出戏的人们；
谢谢你们的提携。
曾经在台下给我掌声或是默默欣赏演出的人们；
一样谢谢你们出席。未来不论是台上或是台下的人们；

请多多指导，小妹就此谢过！

Night too quiet

Silence kills.
Especially silent night.
When no one is awake.
Accompanied by nothing but only those stupid pig head reports.



明月几时有 把酒问青天 不知天上宫阙 今夕是何年


悄悄地跟你说, 夜晚可怕的不是黑, 是‘空’。
而最最最可怕的, 是‘无’。
无因无果，无情无欲，无声无息，却又无穷无尽地残存，那是最最最最可怕的东西。

Giddens & 127 hr

I have to admit I fell in love with this writter: Giddens.
It was long time ago since I last read his book,
but now again, I just can't stop myself reading his words and thoughts.
The previous blog site
The latest blog site

Just bought it, and there's a lot more to go.

Worth watching.

And soon after that, straight away I heard someone saying:

You're not the pity-est person,
stop complaining and start working !

A thought after reading

If ever I had made myself a time capsule 10 years ago;
just a small piece of paper tore from one of the unfinished buku latihan,
kept in a Milo tin and burried under a whatever tree somewhere,
written on the paper were all biggest ambitions and dreams of mine;
what will I read from it after 10 years?

I'll never know as I never write it down.

What if I get one for the 20-year-old me now?
And I hope 10 years later, I won't have to say sorry to the 20-year-old me.

She'll proudly say:

"hey, look here. I've got you what you want!"

Poetry of The Day After -by Giddens

"有一天，我们都将被世界完美地驯养” 在那之前，我只想再为一生一次的青春期，恶狠狠地叛逆一次。
—— 推荐序/五月天阿信



看来今天晚上的枕头得叠高些，想想我要写些什么埋在泥土里。
一张A4纸够不够？hmmmm..

Wu nai

Is there any eternity that will never ever change?
Those beauties that we once held will never break away.
Years and years, time will leave no scars on the face.

Or is there any drop of tear that washes away regrets?
Evaporates into the air and comes down as rain.
Dropping along the path that we once passed by.

Is there ever a place where the day has no sunset?
Stars, SUn and even the Universe will then listen to my conducts.
Moon has no rush to become quarter or full.
And spring will never go far away.
Leaving behind branches that hold tight to green leaves.

Is there any a Rose that will never wilt?
As it stays forever perfect and proud, with no tolerance to anyone.
Why a lifespan of HomoSapien leaves behind only a piece of draft?
Even a petal of rose is once fresh and bright.

Is there ever a bookmark which marks and pauses at those days?
When we had the brightest smiles and the prettiest moments.
When we kept only cakes and Cokes in our bags.
While eyes held only honesty and truths in place.
When we could reach whereverwhateverwhicheverwhoever we want.

For the last, is there a poetry which find no full stop.
Youth will forever stays in our days.
While boys have their guitars and girls with their dresses.
Taste no bitter, but only sweet.

Is there?

I'm again thinking of Mayday, the song: 如烟。

Things sometimes happen with no reasons.
It is what it is and it goes where it goes.
We can't help.
Help can't we.



无奈，应该是用来填塞人生拼图的补丁。
虽然琐碎；但多。

Next time, I'll remember to ask .

Looking out the window, I couldn't find those familiar views.
Look around, well, stranger faces. (though I don't really know much people here)
Something went wrong, the stupid brain told me.

Picking up the phone, then realized the credit was not much left.
"I think I got the wrong bus" a message was typed and sent to her.
"Where the driver go?" she asked and she was at SunU.
"I don't know. I saw Casa Subang in front, but now the bus went the other way"
"Where are u?"
"I don't know".........and I think I almost cried at that time.
With no mood listening to music, Ipod off.

Don't know how far the bus had gone, it stopped and few students got down.
"er....where is this bus going?" finally I asked 1 of the strangers.
" SS(@#%^&%), to the Bazar pasar there.."

"@#$%&^*^$#@!!%^"

Getting down the bus, in the middle of some pasar, in the middle of some taman housing area.
Nice, where should I go?
She called me few times, but I didn't hear.

Then, I found another she from Maldives, same case as mine.
Things didn't get any better.
When we finally reached the junction that the bus just came from,
standing in front of the traffic lights, we had totally no idea which way to go.

No words can really tell the feeling of mine at that time.

Don't know after how long walking from side to side around the exact same point, finally a taxi stopped and took us back to college.

And bla bla bla, I ended up walking back from college.


"I reach liao. Safe n sound" message sent to her phone.
Phone showing 7.10++pm.


This is not the city where those who care for me are around.
These are not the roads that I used to drive along.
Being directionless in this city is fatal.
The feeling of being helpless is really hopeless and frightening.


The new semester is neither good or bad.
Classes going on as it usually does.
Just the recent 1st class, memories of Ibrahim pop out of no where.
With Stefanies kicking my legs under the desks, snatching my Jacob's kiam pia.
And also Yiming's egg/ham bread, Haoliang's bak pau.
Boon and Grace in front of me.
Wynnie dropping over for gossips.
Steve coming over and his gang making troubles and noises.
Oh, and Vijay epiphyt-ing in my class.
So and so.awwwww.

Things will go on as in how it should be going on.
And I'm playing a role of errrrrr.........er..., a passer by.

All I need to do is to live a life and stay alive.
Good or bad, life goes on.



听听李宗盛的歌，成熟稳重、像是经过时间洗礼的词句和声音；
听听来自另一个阶层的故事，其实现在的这些……没什么啦。

Faith

做人要靠的是自己，对自己有信心。
如果自己都不相信自己，别人要怎样相信你；守护神也没用。

One must have faith in oneself.
If one cannot trust his/her own, who else can?

It's simple.
But only now I get what it means.