Just for once

Date: 20 April 2010
Day: yesterday
Weather: Rainy

It was a bad day.
Early in the morning, the lecturer that i dislike the most----> Ms N<----- gave our test paper back. And for the 1st time, i get such a low mark for my Chem. Frankly tell, my paper is just a little bit more than 50%.

I never get such low mark. not even in ENglish<------the subject i struggled the most.
And i had my anger onto my lovely lecturer--->Ms N.
For many reasons, i blamed the old lady.
When i finally find myself back, i had already back-stabbed her x100000000000 times.
And m i regret for doing so?
No
But i will not do it again.
What is done is done. even if i stab her<----back-stab<---- for thousandssss time, i will not get any better-nice-looking mark for the Chem.

But i was sad.
I need to talk. To..?
parents? no, they are so far away; they can do nothing besides worry.
brother? no, he is so busy with his honour assignments.
cousins? what can they do even if they know?
Friends....?

=) Friends

I have friends, nice friends here in subang as well as in sp<---though some of them are currently out station<---
Some shared my secrets.
Some shared my opinions, thoughts.
Together we go through many things and i love their accompany.

I was down.
Because of the result + some other un-named-able reasons.
I hope someone will know that i was sad, but i didn't want to tell---->very stupid and idiot thing, i know.

Just for once, i hope someone's there for me to talk with.
To tell me: its ok---nevermind---u can do better next time---so n so
Just for once, i m hoping for ppl's attention.

Friends.
I don't know whether they sense/notice my foolish+selfish+moron-ish thought.

Till the last second i climb on my lovely bed, i was waiting.
waiiting for the --someone--.
I shut my eyes, at 10pm<---opps,yesterday i slept a bit late, its 10.30pm++

Then, i told myself, ok, no use crying now. no use.
Go sleep.

Just for ONCE, i will ever tell this thing out.
It is so--not--me.